How many times have you planned something in your life that didn’t happen or failed? So busy with life that you don’t have time for yourself let alone God? Personally I can’t remember how many times I have, but I know it’s A LOT! Life gets hectic and busy. We are constantly worrying about our careers, families, relationships, and trying to fix problem after problem. Most times I forget that God is in control of my life and try to figure everything out myself and that’s when I have to remind myself to trust God because He sees the bigger picture in the end and I don’t. But it’s hard I know it is. I fail at letting go and letting God so many times that I often wonder how does God never get tired of me constantly forgetting to trust Him. I mean Jesus died for me! Shouldn’t that me enough of a reminder that He will never let anything bad happen to me? I guess I am writing this as a reminder that God is always there when life gets crazy.
Every time I fall I can see Him standing there with arms wide open for me to come back and trust in Him again.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed , for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10.
As sophomore in High School I made a decision, a big decision, one that our world today almost frowns upon and does not understand. I received quite a bit of ridicule and a lot of misunderstanding for it. Because of this decision I guess you could say I really stand out to people, especially in the small town that I am from.
I made a promise to my future husband that I will stay sexually pure until the day that I get married. And boy oh boy I had no idea what I was signing up for. Only now that I look back do I realize that it was than when I made that promise that the temptations started. My snapchat and Facebook messages began blowing up with guys talking to me. Literally one after the other, it’s like I had a target on my back every day at school. And it was actually than, at the end of my sophomore year that I had the biggest fall. I began talking to someone who slowly but surely started taking my heart away from my First Love. All day and night id constantly be texting this person, we were technically dating just “without the label”. At first he was very understanding about my decisions of purity. But as time went by he started getting “impatient” and our conversations always touched on this subject and before I knew it I was really starting to reconsider my decision. I thought to myself that “hey since I’m probably going to marry this guy it’ll be okay.” Our conversations turned from being sweet and innocent to being un-pure and evil. Now I say evil because it was leading me away from God. My heart breaks at the thought of this but I literally put God on the back burner. And so I began to deal with things that I never before thought I would have to deal with. I’d hear stories about these kind of things but to think that I? Would have to go through it was unreal. Things like hatred towards myself, dis-trust towards others even to those closest to me. I became short tempered and didn’t want to hear a thing from my parents.
You see that’s what happens when God no longer is a priority in your life, when you lose track of your First Love and let the world and its earthly desires take over. But for some reason even at my lowest of moments He was always with me. Through it all God helped me keep my promise that I made my future husband. I sit here writing this, soon to be 18 year old girl, who to this day has still never even kissed a guy. I know that for many people now a days’ kissing isn’t something special or sacred any more, but for me it is. It’s something that I will give to my husband on our wedding day.
But that is only half of the story of what my ring stands for. Not only is it a promise to my future husband that I am waiting for him. But it’s a promise to God, that I will forever pursue him. That no matter what trials I go through in life I will always seek my God first. And I will never lose sight of my First Love. That I will never go back to the past, the past of addiction, self-hate, lying and dis-trust. God said “Come to me all who are weary and I will Give you rest” I believe in those words. I cast away all my fears and trust that He has a plan for my life. ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11
Written by: _kristinakalina